Archive | March 2017

Richard Rahl at The People’s Palace-Epic Speeches with William Wallace


FREEEEEEEDOM!  This is epic speeches with William Wallace, ya pansies, the part of the blog where  William Wallace talks about epic speeches.

This one’s from a book called Stone of Tears, part of the Sword of Truth series by Terry Goodkind.

Mmmmm…I like swords.

This book takes place in another world.  Unlike my movie, which is 100% historical.  A man named Richard was collared as a prisoner, and taken to this fortress called the People’s Palace.

He was in a strange land, all alone, and taken from the woman he loved.  Worse, they took away his FREEEEEDOM!

There was only one of Richard, and he was surrounded by hundreds of witches and thousands of guards.  I could’ve beaten all their arses into haggus, but we can’t all be Braveheart.  So anyway, this Richard guy, he draws his sword, and talks about FRREEEEDOM!

“His fingers tapped the Rada’Han around his neck. ‘As long as you keep this collar on me you are my captors and I am your prisoner. Since I have committed no aggression against you that makes us enemies. We are at war. Sister Verna has made a pledge to me that I will be taught to control the gift and when I have learned what is required I will be set free. For now, as long as you keep that pledge we have a truce. But there are conditions. I have been collared before. The person who put that collar on me brought me pain, to punish me, to teach me, to subdue me. That is the sole purpose of a collar, you collar a beast, you collar your enemies. I made her much the same offer I am making you. I begged her to release me, she would not. I was forced to kill her. Not one of you could ever hope to be good enough to lick her boots. She did as she did because she was tortured and broken; made mad enough to use a collar to hurt people. She did it against her nature. You do it because you think it is your right. You enslave in the name of your Creator. I don’t know your creator. The only one beyond this world who I know would do as you do is the Keeper. As far as I am concerned you may as well be the Keeper’s disciples. If you do as she, and use this collar to bring me pain the truce will be ended. You may think you hold the leash to this collar, but I promise you if the truce ends you will find that what you hold is a bolt of lightning.'”

Terry Goodkind, you may take our suspension of disbelief, but you will never take…Our FREEEDOM!

That speech was badarse.

The Ctaeth-Deliciously Vile Villains with Rumple

maxresdefaultHello Dearies!  And Welcome to Deliciously Vile villains with Rumple, the part of the blog where Rumplestiltskin talks…about deliciously vile villains.

My,  my, we do so seem to love emotionally complex and sympathetic villains these days, don’t we.  From Daredevil’s Wilson Fiske to the Mistborn Trilogy’s Lord Ruler (no, really, read the last book)  to LITERALLY EVERYONE IN MY SHOW TO THE POINT IT’ S CONTRIVED AND ANNOYING…

Point is, villains lately have been much less Darken Rahl and much more Queen Cersei.  And maybe that’s a good thing.  But sometimes it’s great to just revel in pure evil (trust me dearies, I know.)  The forces of pure darkness can make deliciously vile and terrifying villains when written right, from Heath Ledger’s Joker to the Nothing to the Ctaeth.  The last is possibly the most terrifying thing to come out of the Kingkiller Chronicles, including the scary as fuck spider/fungus/demon Scraels.

And who is the Ctaeth, you may ask?  It’s a fairy trapped in a tree.

Stay with me, dearies.

The Ctaeth is a creature who is completely omniscient and completely malicious.  It can not only see the future…it can see EVERY FUTURE.  You heard of that diverging timelines multiverse theory/overused plot device in sci fi?  Imagine you saw every diverging timeline.  EVER.  AND YOU KNEW EXACTLY HOW EVERY ACTION AFFECTED EVERYTHING.

Like knowing exactly how to release a butterfly in South America to eventually cause a twister in Storybrooke.  (No worries, we get those a lot).  Since you’re a malicious creature that wants to cause a much misery as possible, you would do that.  Or you just bring Robin back to the show…prick.

The Ctaeth supposedly is trapped in a tree because no one could kill it.  And whenever a human (read…idiot) tries to talk to it, the Ctaeth manages to manipulate him/her just right to cause a plague or a war or other such darkness.  That’s right dearies, the Ctaeth is locked up in prison and can still cause a plague just by talking to someone.

Eat your heart out, Hannibal Lector.  With some fava beans and a nice chianti.

In the Kingkiller Chronicles we only see the Ctaeth during a few pages.  (Out of easily 1800 so far).  But this creature is easily one of the most memorable in a book filled with memorable characters.  Why?  Because it wants to cause suffering on a worldwide scale, and if ANYBODY SO MUCH AS TALKS TO IT, that is exactly what happens.